My Vision Statement.

Last Thursday night I went to my ridiculously annointed and amazing connect group in Brooklyn. (No, I don't live in Brooklyn, the connect group is just really that good). The women in this group stun and amaze me every week. One of our beautiful leaders, Natalie, spoke about writing a vision statement for our lives, something we continually press toward. Never will we ever be exactly where we want to be in terms of personally or in our faith walk, because there should always be places where we are striving to grow and stretch- but as she read the group the vision statement she wrote for herself at Hillsong Bible College a few years ago, I was so inspired. We all sat down to write one for ourselves and I found I couldn't stop by pen from moving. Thoughts were flowing, my heart was pouring out what I longed for God to do in me, what I longed for God to make me. It was really powerful to look at what I had written and say, you know what? This isn't too much for God. Is this me today? No. But what is amazing, is this is how God already sees me, because He sees the big picture, and He is looking into me through His son. So, I just wanted to share my vision statement for my life and maybe it will inspire you to write your own, not holding anything back. Don't hold anything back, God can do it and He wants to do more. So here it is. I'm sure I will add to it, but here is draft number one.

My Vision Statement

• I see a woman so in love with Jesus Christ that it pours out of every area in her life. Her eyes are so transfixed on above that she doesn't feel pressed, crushed, or in despair.
• I see a woman who is so full of Christ's love that the people around her are never in want. She lives with her hands open- physically and spiritually.
• I see a woman who is emboldened, secure, and confident in Jesus Christ, who HE is and who she is in HIM that she is not swayed by man's opinions or criticisms. So confident that she walks with her head held high and doesn't focus on her insecurities or lack, but on God's promises and HIS capabilities.
  
• I see a woman who opens her mouth and speaks the living word with every breath she takes. Whenever she speaks she is filled with wisdom, compassion, love and LIFE.
• I see a woman who embodies the Proverbs 31 woman.
• I see a woman who doesn't let obstacles, opinions, unpaved roads or anything else stop her from accomplishing a task God has called her to do.
• I see a woman who receives fresh revelation from God daily for everyone around her.
  
• I see a woman who paves/forges new paths and roads. Who goes where nobody has gone before. She goes against the grain.
  
• I see a woman who is a supportive, loving and capable wife, mother, sister, daughter.
  
• I see a woman who has surrendered her life to the cause of Christ- her entire world is to see God bring life, break chains and set free.
• I see a woman so humble but completely confident and she knows the balance.
• I see a woman who walks in the supernatural daily, hourly, by the minute.
• I see a woman whose faith moves mountains that no enemy could hinder/stop.
  

Here and Now

God. Is. Good. What else is there to say? I think every day recently I have been brought to tears by this amazing fact. It is something we say so often, that God is good. But to sit and just dwell on the GOODNESS... wow, it WILL bring you to tears.

This past week my thoughts have been completely occupied with my "calling" and God's plan for my life. God has been moving mightily and has given me an over abundance of grace and sometimes it can seem incredibly overwhelming. So overwhelming to the point where it can be difficult to think clearly. Have you ever been there? Where God is so OVERWHELMING, that you are.... overwhelmed? I hope you have, because it is a beautiful place to be.
While I was in my overwhelmed state on what God would do in the FUTURE, I was not being 100% present in today (or yesterday, or the day before yesterday, or whatever day it was at the time).
I am reading a book called "forgotten God". It is about the church's neglect of the Holy Spirit, and while I am not talking about THAT can of worms, I was so convicted by so many things I read. While thinking about how amazing God is, and what He is doing in MY life and with MY calling-- I was neglecting the true call of the Holy Spirit. I have been placing way too much emphasis on my "calling". My calling is RIGHT HERE and my calling is RIGHT NOW. It is my job, and who I say hello to. My calling is my boss and my doorman. My calling is my connect group and my prayer time and who I meet with for coffee-- literally every person I run across. And any other way God ALLOWS me to be used in the future is completely up to Him. It is a privilege to serve our King, and He certainly did not do it from a platform, so what makes us think that we deserve one?

Nehemiah BEGGED God to use him. He begged to be used. I want that to be my prayer when I wake up every morning. "God, I BEG you to use me today. Please dont let me go through a day without making a difference for you."

Ramblings from a doubter

So recently, I have been struggling with my place where God had called me. I moved here 2 months ago, and for the past 2 years it seems I have been hearing God calling me so clearly. Even the days where I didnt know if it was God, and it didnt seem clear- He was always clear about the path He wanted me to take. Then, when I made the decision to take the steps- He most certainly has cleared the way for me. Now, after most of the seemingly hard parts are conquered- now, I feel like I dont know what to do.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you and watch over you."
~Psalm 32:8

I was writing to a friend of mine this evening, filling her in on everything here in NYC, and one of her questions was- "How are you doing emotionally, being back in the city?" I didnt really know how to answer her. Because, mostly- I am overjoyed. But, I am also overwhelmed, overloaded it seems. I wrote to her, that its funny- back in LA when these plans were a million miles away- it was easier for me to believe in them. Now that God has worked everything out, and Im physically closer to His master plan for my life-- I feel the distance more than ever. Funny, isnt it? That our moments of doubt are STRONGEST literally RIGHT before the breakthrough? Even after we have put out fleece after fleece, and God has proven Himself faithful, the moment of our weakest point is a lot of times right before His plans come to fruition.
A couple of weeks ago, I was just praying, "God- what am I doing? I just feel like I am in a rut." And just really having a moment where I needed God's assurance that I am where He wants me, a moment of doubt, if you will- like I didnt think He would come through. And I opened my bible to this verse (which I love):
"Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give the delivery?" says the Lord. "Do I close the womb when I bring to delivery?" says your God." Isaiah 66:9. It was like God was directly asking me those questions. Then I just felt dumb. I didnt ask Him again that day.
I just think it is so sad how quickly we can get discouraged regarding the calling God puts specifically on our hearts. I have learned long ago that I need to die to my emotions and feelings. I hand them to God. But, that doesn't mean that they're not still in my heart. And what does that say about my heart, that it is always doubting?

Nothing to say.

Really dont have much to say... I just felt like I should blog because I am just so happy and I am online. There is nothing urgent I need to say (well there are a lot of urgent things, but none that I have the time to write..).

I got off work tonight at 7, and it was beautiful outside. Crisp, but not freezing. And as I walked up Amsterdam to 96th (30 blocks), listening to the new Hillsong United Aftermath album... I was just so full of unexplainable joy. Every breath I took in was exhilarating, and I couldn't help but throw an occasional skip in my step as I walked to the bus. Being a nanny, my life is far from glamorous, but I have everything I need and could want right now. God's promises are being fulfilled. And to know that He takes care of every detail of our lives, if we let Him-- is just an amazing feeling. 3 years ago, nobody would recognize this me. This me who is totally and completely in love with our Lord, and this life. 3 years ago, I never would have guessed that I would be more fulfilled and so incredibly happy not doing anything but serve every day, at work and everywhere else, because I love people and I love Him. And that makes every little thing I do.... big. Nothing is little. Nothing is small. Everything is precious.

And so, I really didnt have anything to say, except... I love breathing. and Jesus. and this city.

goodnight world.

Also, I am posting a picture of a restaurant called 'Hot and Crusty'. I passed it this eve, and I have to say, I am not very interested in eating there, purely because of the name. Their food may be hot, and it may be crusty, but I will never know.

HELLO NYC!

HELLO!

Its been a long time since I have blogged, and I have been asked to blog more often, so here I am :) Last you all probably heard of me, I was in sunny California, basking in warmth. I am now basking in snow- a lot of it. I am in chilly new york city! I have been here for about a week and a half, and I am loving it! I have a love/hate relationship with the snow- but now that I have waterproof boots, I am purposefully walking through puddles and slush, because well, I can :)

I have made the decision, as of today (as I emailed my manager and agent) that I am going on a hiatus from auditioning and acting. It was such a difficult decision, but a necessary one. As I struggled to find the words to explain my decision to the people who have stood by me personally and professionally for years, it was like a weight had been lifted off my chest once the letters were sent. Did I make the right decision? I think so. If I am wondering if I should be doing acting anymore, that is probably a sign that I shouldn't be doing it at this moment in my life.

So far, I am adoring all of these changes. I am feeling God lead me in a HUGE NEW direction. For now, I am in SCHOOL part time (whoa! I know, huge for me people- but ya know... I LOVE it!) And I am nannying for a wonderful family on the Upper West Side. I also have a SICK apartment in a brand new building on the UES- with a washer/dryer in the apartment. No, I am not lying. I am feeling extremely blessed these days. This is a season of change- and I am not looking back. I am ready for this new chapter in my life, and all the changes and things ahead.

I'm super excited to get involved with Hillsong NYC! The first volunteer night is tomorrow- and I will BE there :) I don't care where I serve, I just want to serve. Because I know God has led me there- He will open doors where He wants me. That is a broad entry, a catching up of all thats going on. I left A LOT out, but I will try and blog more as I continue on this beautiful journey I am on :)

Let's build a well in Kenya!

Hey guys! I recently posted this on facebook, and am looking for people to join with me in this cause! This is what I posted, read it and if you feel stirred to do so-- please join me in making this happen!

Hi everyone!! Ive recently been introduced to this organization called Generation Water. Generation water builds wells all around the world for people who cannot just turn on the faucet and have drink. Water is essential to life. Water is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Nearly 1 billion people around the world lack access to clean water. This is just unacceptable. SO-- I thought-- why not get a group together to build a well? No traveling, but giving. Give as generously as you drink water. Give so that others can live. Digging underground and building a well will give clean and safe drinking water for an entire village for 20 years. Its a really great cause.

It a very spontaneous idea on my part. But I cant know these statistics and not do something about it. One well costs $3000. If we all put our resources together, and saved for a bit if needed-- we could totally come up with, or MORE!! I am starting with committing $500 myself. Email me at Jenny_gulley@yahoo.com if you want to be involved in this. I hope you will! 

Go to the website: generositywater.com if you want more information on the organization!

NY times article.

So incredibly sad.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/18/opinion/18sun2.html